A Nigerian singer, Damilola Praiseworth, has narrated how he almost destroyed his marriage even before it began because he was hanging on to a ‘harmless friendship’.
According to Damilola, he was still having vulnerable conversations with a female friend while having a committed relationship with his woman, but he later came to understand that God’s design for intimacy in a relationship and marriage is such that you share your complete commitment, emotions and vulnerable moments with your partner and your partner alone.
He also said that the ‘harmless friendship’ cost him everything. Read his story below…
“I almost destroyed my marriage even before it began because I was hanging on to a ‘harmless friendship’. This would have cost me everything.
Before I met my wife, I unconsciously had the need to keep close friends of the opposite sex. This made me feel good about myself and have a sense of satisfaction that I was admired.
When I finally met my wife, we both decided to be committed to our relationship and focus on making it work by being committed to each other to a point where we both knew that we were each others safe space.
Even though I agreed to this commitment, I found myself trying to still manage the emotions of my ‘harmless friend’ who I was used to having long vulnerable conversations and chatting all day with.
I found myself deleting call histories, and chats just to proof to my wife I was keeping to my end of the bargain. Even though the conversations I was having with this friend were ‘harmless’, I later came to realise that I was being unfaithful with my emotions.
The few times my wife (then girlfriend) noticed our interactions, I found myself being defensive as to why it was harmless and meant nothing, and even did more to hide the fact that we were still in very constant communication.
Thankfully, I came to understand that God’s design for intimacy in a relationship and marriage is such that you share your complete commitment, emotions and vulnerable moments with your partner and your partner alone…
…and the moment you start having such vulnerable moments and heart warming conversations with another person outside your relationship/marriage, it is emotional unfaithfulness which ultimately leads to infidelity.
Without any more drama, I let go of the friendship and focused on my relationship which led to us being engaged and now married.
Now my wife is my safe space, and my only person in the whole world and so am I to her.”
See comments and reactions
Julius Bestman: In every relationship there’s always a third party and the devil has crown them “Bestie” now let’s pray Every Bestie around your husband,wife, Boyfriend, Girlfriend,let the consuming Fire of God and Thunder From Wuhan fire You In Jesus Name Amen!!
Naomi John: That is why you have to keep aside opposite sex friendship, rather make your partner (wife or husband) your best friend in marriage, it may be harmless friendship to you, but you don’t no what is in the mind of she/he
Steph Mary Abundance:Harmless friend… 🤣🤣🤣 u just came to realise u having something for her and u don’t need to just destroy d one u building… Men and their English… harmless indeed… God bless your marriage shaa… But still watch yasef..
Joyuosly Joyce: Hmm! I understand, But remember we are humans, time may come that the harmless friendship will become so close to d extent that you people will be so tempted to take it to next level.
Chisom Odiefe: If you are married and your wife keep harmless friendship don’t also panic or touch her mad set of people
Ena Fine Ruesekevwe: When ladies like me complains of stuff like this in our relationship, they think we are being unnecessarily jealous but it’s totally wrong. I wonder how they will feel knowing you as a lady have a guy as a friend who you call text and chat with always all in the name of friendship.
Ngozi Nwoke: When we married women complain about this now,pple ll say we r either jealous or too possessive,bt u see how a real man realises his mistake n corrected it
Ikuku Nkemakolam: There is nothing like a harmless friendship.. Once you are friends with the opposite sex something must happen one day.. Our sex organs doesn’t have sense🙄🙄🙄
Mercy Friday: If u call it “harmless friendship “how did you then realized that it almost destroyed your marriage….oga am waiting for the answer oooo
Vanessa Vanessa: Friendship with the opposite sex while married is very risky and dangerous. Stay away 4rom singles .. to u its harmless.. but for her its a target.
Ikechukwu Festus: There’s nothing like harmless friendship with opposite sex, because constantly conversing and meeting with opposite sex will surely trigger sexual interest and emotional attach.
Stop close friendship with an opposite sex when your already engaged to someone else, unless you wanna cheat.
Victoria Ebere Chukwu: Useless besties everywhere,I wonder y some one will have a wife or gf and still keep d opposite sex as a friend,so called besties
David Osborne Iguwe: Once you have a woman or a man as your lover…u need no bestie male or female. …. Youre opening doors for cheating..if u can’t be comfortable with ur spouse having a bestie…why will u have one???…..🚶
Trendy Udoh: Now they’ve found a new word for cheating,they say it’s entanglement… Entanglement kee Dem dia
Mason Kelly: You should have known that women are the most jealous creatures in the world… Expecially if dey are in love with you, even if you are too close to your own sister a woman who loves you so much will read meaning to it.. That’s why I have only male friends who are very decent and also married to save my marriage.. Cos I don’t have strength to start looking for a new wife
Alexander Comfort Agoha: If it was harmless it wouldn’t have gotten anything close to destruction, but there were trace or traces of harm knowingly and unknowingly to you that’s why.
Casey ThankGod Nwachukwu: Harmless friendship kee u there.. Bestie in other words abi.. It is well
Rapheal Chidubem: If you destroy ur home u repair it not everything is good to expose on social media…
Nwokesonye Lynda: That’s why sometimes you need to stay away from ur ex lovers when you get married
Ejiofor Somadina: Wow. Many don’t understand this. Emotionally cheating on your partner is something we gat to avoid.
Golden Golden: If you destroy it, u can still repair it with tred and niddle .