Dem Say Wahala No Dey Finish
As a 200 level Engineering student of the Rivers State University, I was trying to live my best life.
On a very beautiful Sunday evening, My friends and I decided to set sail with our compass set at NorthEast Port Harcourt, somewhere around Rumuodara for a birthday party I was invited to. The invitation was from one of my Facebook friends, but for security reasons and as a PH boy wey I be, coupled with the amount of sensitive materials that will be there present, I gats carry my friends gum body.
On getting there, I wasn’t disappointed with the ratio of chap to ladies, with the number of sensitive materials on ground, an official can carry home up to half a dozen of ballot boxes. Trust me, as a former dance hall king that I was (I no dey talk am make e sweet you) I stole the show. My moves attracted this very beautiful lady, I got to know her more as we exchanged contacts with a few hugs, vibes and insha allah.
My friends and I went back to the hostel with very huge sense of fulfillment, the groove was gleefully overwhelming.
From that night i started texting the lady (she’s quite older), the first welcome i got was a credit alert of 15k (who say love no sweet?), This kind gesture from my new catch for sure made me a big boy in school that week, even if i felt cheap to a certain extent, that didn’t change how excited I got over a 15k alert from a lady that likes me.
We gradually moved from constant texting to late night calls. This was when i got my first invite to her “house” (according to her), the time was set at 9pm, see me smiling shipishly like I just won a lottery.
The very day came and she sent me an address, the location was somewhere around Ojoto, mile 3. I’m pretty sure Kalada daminabo ogolo , Datuwo Pepple, Elvis Jaja, Amie Minimah, justice Chigonum and Innocent iyowuna Uranta will be very familiar with this Ojoto place, I’m definitely not familiar 🤪.
Before 4pm that day, I got a 10k alert from her for transportation (place wey i go trek reach) but wetin man go do? Na cheap I been cheap I no kill person! – Appreciation she received from me that day was overwhelming, that I believe help hightened her want for me. I could sense her somewhat desperate urge for my presence.
I got to her location by about 9:30pm and she took me to a 2 story building which looked just like a hotel, behind the popular “Ojoto Slaughter House”, we entered her beautiful room, she was so hospitable, we had beer and Pizza for dinner. We both showered, we discussed about her line of business, which she said was Oil. She talked about how desperate she wanted to spend “quality time” with me. 😁😁😊
I was already set to start moving early the next morning when I received a “thanks for coming” 5k, (it’s definitely the money for me, no reason my matter).
Fastfoward to a week later when I visited again as planned, this time i got there quite before schedule at about 9pm, as I moved into the building, in a quest to locate baby’s room, eeeew God! All I could see were Eve’s as it was in the garden of Eden, – I was shocked with the kind of atmosphere and reception that greeted me, all I could hear was: “fine man come na” “Oga come na i go do you well” “Oga that girl you deh go find deh with customer already” “Oga you wan tel me say you no get 500 Naira like this?” “come make i do you well,” nothing son of man no hear that day,
Eeeew, for the first time in my life, I felt very useless and destroyed. To cap it all up, my babe walked out of the room with her customer. The Banni asked me to please come inside with her, I walked into her room with my laggy face of disappointment and partly feeling like ‘another customer’.
Babe; “I can explain, it was what i planned to tell you today”
Me; “explain what exactly? we speak almost everyday, what have we not talked about?”
This babe narrated a very sorrowful story on how her journey started and the “pressure from home” blah blah blah…
Our night started, my hard-earned preparation that day was short-lived, this affected every part of my body, my organs stops functioning.
She noticed nothing was working, then came the question: “What’s the problem?”
Me; “Digital erectal examination carried out on me shows prostate Cancer.” “The ailment is accompanied with difficulty in emptying the bladder, blood in the urine, and bone pains.”
I narrated how I have been placed on prostate cancer drugs, which have shown some signs of effectiveness on me.
Me; “I wanted to tell you but I was feeling very ashamed to say it on phone.”
My babe; “Jesus! why didn’t you tell me, you would have just told me.”
Babe; “I just got a call I’m going home for an emergency, I think you should go too.”
Me; “no wahala, maybe we should just reschedule”
Babe; “I even want to travel but we’ll talk sha.”
My people, Na so I wear my shirt and started my journey that night to the campus.
Even when I tried to call her when I got home, her line stopped connecting. Na so she use block me and we both lived happily ever after 😁.
My bad life been never mature to the extent of dating her. Na God save me.